ISSUE 166 ISSN 1712-468


Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships.

Harriet Lerner

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This Week's Inspiration

The Power and Importance of Relationships!


The state of being related or interrelated; the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship; specific instance or type of kinship; a state of affairs existing between or among those having relations or dealings; a romantic or passionate attachment

  • Have we become too busy to develop relationships?
  • Do we tend to connect at a surface level and miss the benefits of deeper connections?
  • Have you ever regretted not connecting with someone and then it was too late...he or she was gone?

It was my Dad's 80th birthday last week. The most important thing to him was to use the occasion to bring the extended family together to build and nurture relationships. An out-of-town cousin attended whom I had not seen or talked to in more than 10 years. Her brother passed away—far too young—just a few months ago.

The comments at Dad's party, especially from those of us who have passed the 50 mark, was that time is precious and making relationships a priority is not an option—if we wish to feel fulfilled and leave a legacy.

All over North America, Facebook is helping family members know more about each other, but is it really building relationships? Certainly, connection is occurring but relationships are deeper than that.

I realize many of  us are busy but most of us have more discretionary time than we think.

This applies to all relationships, both personal and professional: Suppose you set aside 15 minutes a week to reach out to someone with whom you have not connected for a while. Instead of touching base with that person via email, this time make a phone call.

Last weekend—simply to say thank you—I took the time to call one of our Associates who had recently worked with CRG. My focus was to make the call about him and us and not about me. At the end of the 5-minute call, he felt better and I benefited just as much as he did and maybe more.

Relationships are food for your soul; they are not a drain, as many busy individuals might like us to believe.

Note: The exception is dysfunctional relationships, which we should avoid or certainly limit.

In past articles, I have cited research that confirms having a tight group of friends extends your life and promotes good health. When we make an effort to build and maintain our relationships, we all benefit!

Your ability to contribute to relationships is equal to or less than your social awareness of your Personal Style and personality. The same holds true of your knowledge of the individuals with whom you are interacting. If you haven't already done so, I want to encourage you to engage my book, Why Aren't You More Like Me?"!

Feedback from those who have taken the time to read the book, to learn about themselves and the individuals around them, has been humbling and exciting.

Here is one example. My friend has two awesome daughters, 9 and 11, whom his wife home-schools. After he and his wife read my book, their 11-year-old thanked me for writing it. I asked her to tell me about the difference the book has made in her life.

"Well," she said, "since Mom read your book Mr. Keis, she is much nicer and more understanding towards me." In other words a deeper relationships is occurring because mother and daughter understand and accept their differences. Wow!

Review the Action Steps to confirm possible ways you can improve and take more control of your life—and not let others drive your agenda.

Why Aren't You More Like Me?
I encourage you to read my new book, Why Aren't You More Like Me?"!. It will help you establish a positive framework for understanding the impact  your Personal Style and personality have on the people around you.

The first question followers want leaders to answer is "Who are you?" They want to know what you care about and why they ought to be following you. You will be able to address those questions and more when you read Ken Keis's new book Why Aren't You More Like Me?"!a refreshingly clear, comprehensive, and practical guide to discovering your Personal Style, what motivates you, and how to adapt to situations and the styles of others. If you want to improve your personal effectiveness—and do it in a way that is genuine and credible, this book is a great place to start!

Jim Kouzes, Award-Winning Co-author of the Bestseller, The Leadership Challenge, is the Dean's Executive Professor of Leadership,
Leavey School of Business, at Santa Clara University, California.

Why Aren't You More Like Me?"!
Discover the Secrets to Understanding Yourself and Others!
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A research study on self-awareness indicates that without the essential information contained in this book, only 2% of the population will realize their potential!

Learn to be more intentional with your decisions about

  • your career,
  • your relationships,
  • your personal matters, and
  • your professional development.

This book makes a great gift—for others and for yourself!
Everyone who reads it will benefit!
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Here's what Kenneth Blanchard, of The One Minute Manager fame,has to say.

Ken Keis has written the definitive go-to guide for understanding what makes you—and people around you—tick. Why Aren't You More Like Me?"! is a fascinating read because it's all about you! This book will change the way you think about yourself and your world.

Ken Blanchard,
Co-author of the bestselling book,
The One Minute Manager and Lead with LUV

Included with each book...

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Most textbooks written by academics on assessment in general—and personality assessment in particular—tend to put me to sleep. Fortunately, the ideas in this book come from professionals in the business world as well as higher education. I find Why Aren't You More Like Me?"! very reader-friendly, the suggestions for improving workplace relations practical, and the publication comprehensive.

Richard Knowdell
President, Career Research & Testing, Inc.

This Week's Action Steps

The Power and Importance of Relationships!

  1. Upon reflection, are relationships a priority in your life? Why or Why not?

  2. Regardless of where you are in your life, list some of the benefits of deepening or expanding your relationships.

  3. What has been hindering you from engaging more intentionally in your relationships?

  4. Envision having perfect relationships with the individuals you respect, like, and love. How does that feel?

  5. To achieve your vision, what changes or adjustments do you need to make?

  6. Whom would you need to become to deepen those relationships?

  7. To intentionally and successfully engage others, you must know yourself. Complete CRG's Values Preference Indicator (VPI) and the  Personal Style Indicator (PSI)  to get to know yourself better you can achieve excellence in your personal and professional relationships.

  8. Read Why Aren't You More Like Me?"!. It provides a roadmap for understanding yourself and others. Relationships will go deeper quickly and you will be able to overcome or at least appreciate your differences more easily.

  9. Relationships make you healthier and improve your overall well-being. Develop your plan today to be and do more in your relationships!

Until next time, keep Living On Purpose.

Ken Keis

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