The presence of humility is a defining moment of success for each of us. It reveals maturity of the soul and the spirit of the individual. . . and it demonstrates you have discovered the true meaning of life—it’s not ALL about us!
Admittedly it is a character trait I continue to perfect. Over the past 5 years, it has taken on new meaning. I’ll get back to that in a minute.
In a society that promotes it is all about me, we miss the elegance and calming presence of the humble individual. The character traits opposite to humility are arrogance, conceit, and self-importance. When was the last time we could not wait to hang out with a self-centered, over-the-top, arrogant person? Not recently . . . unless it was ourselves. Ouch!
There are some misunderstandings about humility and its impact on the other character traits in our life. Some people have incorrectly equated humility with weakness, lack of confidence, or being a pushover but those are false assertions. In fact, the opposite is usually true.
It is the humble people who
- Are secure in themselves and where they are going;
- Do not have to boast about who they are and what they have achieved;
- Are able to focus on others;
- Shut up to let others speak;
- Do not need others’ approval to confidently move forward;
- Do not try to outdo another person’s comments with their better story; and
- Speak with their actions, not with their words.
Humility is a trait with a dichotomy. Let me explain.
Many insecure and arrogant individuals somehow believe their self-centered behavior will get them more of what they want. But it does just the opposite. It repels the very things they want to attract.
Humility works in the opposite direction. Humility attracts others and opportunities. So the less you boast and focus on yourself, the more others want to be with you and work with you. The concept that opposites attract applies to the character trait of humility.
My personal example supports this and goes back 4 years ago when I agreed to run as a board member for the private school our children attend.
I felt confident. I wanted to be the next chair of the board because leadership was severely lacking there.
In spite of my hints that I should be the next chair, that did not occur. Yes, I was disappointed but there was a greater lesson in the making. After 3 years of sitting on the board and contributing as a team member to help transform the school into a vibrant and growing community, I found great satisfaction in seeing the success of the school. My desire to be the chair faded.
I came to be thankful I was not the chair because, with all my other obligations, the time commitment ended up being far beyond my ability to serve.
During my maturing process over the past 4 years, my focus shifted from status—being the chair—to asking how I could best serve this community. I discovered titles really don’t matter. I learned character is far more important.
Now that I don’t need to be chair, I was recently elected to that position. After my ego no longer required the title, the opportunity presented itself. When I suggested that someone else should be given the honor, I received pressure to accept the responsibility.
So what about you?
- Do you mostly talk about yourself in a business or social setting? Or do you ask questions of others?
- Are you always needing to be right or correcting others, no matter the topic?
- What would others say about you? Would they say you are humble or arrogant?
Over the years, it has been my experience that those who are the most secure in themselves and living on purpose tend to be more humble.
To assist you, I am recommending the following CRG assessments and resources to provide you with the insight and clarity to achieve deeper levels of humility.
The Attractive Quality of Humility
- The character traits opposite to humility are arrogance, conceit, and self-importance. Who wants to be affiliated with those traits? Not many, I hope.
- What would others say about your level of humility? Are you satisfied with your current condition or do you need to mature in this area?
- Don’t buy into the lie that being humble makes you weak or a pushover. In reality, the humble person is secure in him or herself and does not need approval from others to move forward.
- Status, such as your financial condition or level of responsibilities, is independent of your level of humility. There are many examples where those who have nothing or who seemingly do nothing are the least humble individuals I have met.
- When you enter into business or social settings, put your focus on others, not on yourself. The others should be talking more than you are.
- Let your actions speak louder than your words. If you have to the tell the world you are great, are you?
- Where in your life can you show more humility? Make a list now.
- Select someone you know or know of who demonstrates humility. Be a student of that person’s character.
- You become like the people you hang around with. Who is influencing your character right now? Do you need to reconsider where you are spending time?
- If you are not on purpose or aligned with your gifts, talents, and interests, it will be nearly impossible to feel at peace and be humble. Access My Source EXPERIENCE Journal™ to get the roadmap and processes to confirm what is most important to you in all areas of your life.
- The following CRG resources will provide additional information to help you know yourself and feel comfortable with the person you are.
- Humility is a state of not having to prove anything to anyone. It is a place of peace that allows you the freedom to focus on others and enrich their lives and, as a result, you are far more on purpose and fulfilled.
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Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!.
Ken Keis
For information on CRG Resources, please visit http://www.crgleader.com.
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