In recent years, I’ve been able to shift my intense Personal Style that was not always seen as kind. Today, I am intentionally kind.

What about you?

Are you kind?

How happy are you?

This short survey may help!

Please answer each of the following 4 questions on a scale of 1 to 7:

1. How happy are you? 1 is not happy; 7 is very happy.
    
2. Relative to your peers, are you less happy (1) or more happy (7)?
    
3. Some people are generally very happy, enjoying life regardless of what is going on; they get the most out of everything. Where are you on the scale of 1 to 7?
    
4. Some people are generally not very happy. Although they are not depressed, they never seem happy. Where are you on the scale of 1 to 7?

Look at your responses to the 4 questions.

Do you see room for improvement?

Questions similar to the above were used in an international study that linked kindness, happiness, and gratitude to satisfaction and performance in daily lives.

Conducted in Japan, the research confirms that kind and happy individuals have highly satisfying relationships, both personally and professionally, and more positive interaction with people and events. That translates into higher performance and achievement.

Before we get into the Action Steps and ways we can shift our mindset, let’s look at an example of the opposite behavior . . . the antithesis of kind and happy.

At dinner with a new business acquaintance, I was quickly appalled by his aggressive and unkind manner when speaking to the people who worked in the restaurant.

He was demanding and rude. I was embarrassed to be at the same table with him.

I did my best to take the sting out of his words to the staff but by the end of the meal it was evident that he was generally an unkind, unhappy man. You won’t be surprised to learn we never did do business together because of the way he treated people.

I use this statement to assess a person’s conduct: “How you act anywhere is how you will act everywhere.” The odds of that man being easy to deal with in business were not good. 

Research has proved strong links between kindness and happiness.

• If a person is kind, he or she is likely happy.
• If a person is unkind, he or she is likely unhappy.

Research conducted by the University of Cambridge and Plymouth in the UK verifies that kindness is contagious. When given, kindness is caught by others and passed on.

Your act of kindness does not stop at one single event; it has a multiplying effect.

Kindness toward others has another benefit; it’s called elevation. Individuals who experience kindness and/or witness kind acts have elevated feelings for helping or supporting others. In other words, their willingness levels go up in response to direct or indirect acts of kindness.

For the most part, when leaders, managers, parents, or individuals in authority lead in an unkind manner, they decrease their group’s willingness to fulfill requests and goals—which is opposite to the desired effect. That basic common sense has been verified by research.

We can make the link between kindness and happiness intentional.

Take a moment to think about the most unhappy person you know, then reflect on his kindness quotient. He might not act mean but he is likely indifferent and does not demonstrate kindness toward others.

Now I am not suggesting that every interaction will be an over-the-top act of super-kindness. In some cases, firm and direct responses are appropriate. Our general kindness and happiness levels, however, are directly linked to the overall joy and fulfillment we have in our life.

I opened this article by saying I have shifted to become kinder in my interactions with others. In the past, I was generally happy with my life except when suppliers or providers let us down in business. I would become unkind, fast, because I was unhappy with people who did not deliver what they promised.

Being kind to others does not release individuals and organizations from their responsibilities, but I found that if I was grounded in being kind and happy, I actually got better results.

Here is an example.

Because of the postal strike last month, 20% interest was added to my Visa credit-card balance because my payment got stuck in the mail. I called the card company. In a kind and happy tone, I requested that the interest charges be reversed. To my surprise, the representative said, “Sure. No problem.”

You can choose the mindset of kindness and happiness. If you want to improve your happiness, be kinder and be grateful. Your wellness, satisfaction, performance, and accomplishments are linked to your kindness and happiness.

Let me ask again . . .

• Are you happy?
• Would others agree?

Review the Action Steps below to enhance your happiness and your life satisfaction.

Included with each book . . .

• A complimentary Online Personal Style Indicator (PSI) assessment
  Value: $45.00
• Your own personalized PSI report (20+ pages) about your specific Personal Style pattern and how to increase your effectiveness with self and others
• Detailed information about the 1 factor that will forever enhance your ability to build lasting relationships

Why Aren't You More Like Me?™
Discover the Secrets to Understanding Yourself and Others!
Third Edition

Ken Keis

 

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