This Week's Inspiration
The Transformational Power of Brokenness
| Brokenness: | Shattered, crushed, sorrowful, bankrupt: violated by transgression; made weak or infirm; subdued completely; a broken spirit; disunited |
Most of us at some time in our life will experience a time of brokenness where our heart aches with pain. For some, it will be the loss of a personal relationship with a significant other, separation or divorce, or strife with children, friends, co-workers, or family members.
Brokenness is a place where there is no bottom because we have already passed that point. We are below bottom.
It is a place that humbles us because the pain of loss penetrates deep into our soul, exposing our core for all to see.
In most (not all) situations, when it comes to broken relationships, at some level or another we played a part in the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Yes, I dislike accountability as much as the next person, but the fact remains that it always takes two to have a disagreement—rarely just one.
At this point, what got us to our painful situation is far less important than what we are going to do about it.
Even in the moment of seeming despair, we have a choice. We have a choice to stay stuck, embittered, and hopeless—possibly blaming others for our condition while we wallow in self-pity—or we can embrace the moment as one of the greatest opportunities to grow and learn. Our changed circumstances will become an anchor point for living the rest of our lives.
In which direction shall we point our emotionally charged sentiments—positive or negative?
Recently, in a breakdown of a personal relationship, I was challenged to rethink how I showed up. In the past, I might have become angry or upset but instead I needed to stop and acknowledge the other person's feelings, which were a surprise to me.
Yes, it always takes two to tango—but I can only own my stuff. Most of us are very slow in realizing that nobody can change anybody else—each person must actively choose change.
The more you try to change someone else, the less likely that person is willing to change. Who wants to do something that is being demanded by someone else? It's like one of those Chinese puzzles that you put on your finger. The harder you pull, the tighter it grips your finger. Once you relax, you can remove your finger from the puzzle.
The same holds true for our brokenness. You can fight it or relax and be transformed by the experience. So many broken relationships end up in bitterness with each party spreading malicious gossip about the other.
Lack of forgiveness will eat at your soul, turning you into poison ground, so do whatever you need to do to release the bad thoughts and feelings.
Brokenness not only humbles us in our human frailty, it exposes our authentic selves.
The way you handle this situation will show the real you.
If you had brokenness in your life, how did you show up? Are you okay with your responses?
When we allow people in, that permits others to support us in our time of need. The human spirit requires community so withdrawing is not the answer to healing and transformation. Yes, we will want our own space but not to the exclusion of community.
At my time of need, I appreciated my friends and the way they supported me—I was not only thankful but amazed at their loyalty and love.
Even though it feels like the pain will never end, it will. It will take longer for some people than others but this, too, shall pass. I agree with Wayne Dyers' insights: Who says it must take a long time to heal from brokenness? That's a myth.
So if someone you know is experiencing brokenness, share this article.
Take the following steps to transform the experience for others.
Your positive progress is only one decision away.
Transformation from Brokenness
Growing and Developing
People really do want to live inspired lives, so get connected to your purpose and passion with these resources.
- CRG's calling is to assist others to live, lead, and work on purpose—including helping people discover their passion and learn how to live it, intentionally, every day. An On-Purpose person has a vibrant mind, body, and soul. Consider the following processes and assessments.
- To confirm your beliefs and purpose in all areas of your life, I recommend my 88-page workbook, My Source EXPERIENCE Journal™. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.
- CRG's Personal Style Indicator, Stress Indicator and Health Planner, Values Preference Indicator, and Self-Worth Inventory will help you fully embrace your passions.
- To enhance your results, follow these ACTION STEPS .
This Week's Action Steps
The Transformational Power of Brokenness!
- Have you ever had a life-altering experience that took you to a place of brokenness? How did you respond? If that has not happened to you, please read on . . . to be prepared in case it happens to you or a friend in future!
- No matter how deep the brokenness, the good news is that the only way out is up. It may not feel like it now, but brokenness—no matter how deep—will pass, if you choose that path to more forward. Wallowing in self-pity will leave you stuck.
- Each of us at any given moment (no matter what has happened) has a choice—to either become embittered over an event or person or choose to be transformed by the experience.
- What can or did you learn from your brokenness? How can or has it made you a more developed person now than before? Own your contribution or the part you played in this brokenness.
- Don't spread malicious gossip or bitterness about other people. That poisons your soul and spirit—not theirs. If you want to be transformed, you must be willing to let go.
- Reach out to friends while you are in the middle of your brokenness and benefit from a sense of community. You will be amazed how friends will rally around you.
- For many, these times cause us to search for a bigger meaning in life. If our purpose is linked to another person—and he or she is no longer there, it becomes a dysfunctional situation. I admit that without my faith, the most recent brokenness in my life would not have been as manageable. Quite frankly, I am not sure how people can tolerate the pain without that type of grounding. If you want to learn more about this, please visit our ezine archives at this link.(http://crgleader.com/ezine/livingonpurpose/LOP129.html)
- Overcoming brokenness means having a vision for the future and living in the now, not the past. To access this passion and internal confidence, you must be living, leading, and working on purpose. Use the following CRG resources to stimulate your mind, confirm your passions, and connect with your purpose.
- Work with CRG's 88-page My Source EXPERIENCE Journal™–A Personal Discovery Process for Those Who Want to Lead a Passionate and Fulfilling Life.
- Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passions by using CRG assessments. Your results will assist you to establish your values with confidence in all areas of your life. As part of the clarification process, we recommend four specific assessments.
- Personal Style Indicator (PSI), to identify your natural preferences and strengths
- Values Preference Indicator (VPI), to clarify your core values.
- Self-Worth Inventory (SWI), to understand how your level of self-worth is affecting your success.
- Stress Indicator and Health Planner(SIHP), with brokenness comes stress and this is the perfect assessment to benchmark your stress levels in five areas so you can take immediate action steps.
- Be fully committed and persistent to the transformation process. Never give up.
- Brokenness, though never desired by anyone, releases powerful emotions. It is a life-changing event that can be harnessed to take you to a higher place of development than you would have achieved without it. Be thankful for the opportunity to live at an elevated level and contribute.
- Be in the moment—in this very moment—because you can only ever live in the now.
Special Announcement From Ken Keis
I am revising Why Aren't You More Like Me?
The Third Edition of this book will be released in late Summer 2010.
In our special prepublication offer to you, our valued LOP subscriber, each book purchase will include the following.
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Prepublication Special Order Form
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Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!
Ken Keis
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