This Week's Inspiration
What Are You Waiting for?
Regret is Not Your Friend!
Regret: | To mourn the loss; to miss very much; to be very sorry for; sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one's control or power to repair; an expression of distressing emotion. |
Later in this article, I will ask you to list your regrets.
Right now, let's look at some necessary background.
There are two sides to regret.
1. The first is regret for actions or events you wish had not happened and that you would like to take back.
Yes, we all have had them—things we said or did that we regret. We may get upset and say things that damage our relationships or we may do things that cause harm. For example, Tiger Woods may be regretting his unfaithful conduct.
I have done many things over my life that I regret, from investing in a scam to getting involved in a risky business venture to help out a friend.
At this time in my life, my regrets are infrequent. Why? I took the time to identify the main causes of my actions and rooted them out. I had to change my thinking to take responsibility for my contribution to my own troubles. I have learned to make value-based decisions and to conduct myself in way that leaves little room for regret.
What about you? Think about the times when you felt regret. Is there a common theme? Do behaviors or habits contribute to your regret? What new thoughts or action steps could reduce your feelings of regret for the things you have done?
For the most part, the first type of regret can be tempered by time.
2. The second is regret for actions not taken.
This is the sin of omission. We must take this even more seriously because we cannot alter time to retrieve things that were missed—the job we did not take, the investment we ignored, or the opportunity we let pass us by. The list can be long.
Recently, I achieved the milestone birthday of 50 years. Even though I plan to live to 100+, at 50 I feel a greater sense of urgency about all the things I want to do. This is my time to take action.
With keen awareness that mortality is universal and nonnegotiable, I want to encourage every individual reading this article to take a stand:
- "Starting today, I will live my life without regrets, especially as it pertains to activities I want to experience and outcomes I wish to realize in my life."
Here are a few positive situations to consider.
- Attending (not missing) your kid's recital or concert
- Beginning your regular fitness program
- Traveling to that place in the world you have been dreaming about for years
- Taking that course to upgrade your skills, perhaps even getting the degree you have been contemplating
- Trying new food
- Taking time for yourself
- Quitting a job you hate
- Calling a friend to share coffee or lunch
- Attending the presentation or concert of someone (or group) you enjoy
- Writing the article, poem, or book you have thought about for ages
- Joining the community group you have been thinking about
Note: Unless material goods are directly linked to what you want to do or become, please don't focus on them here. Yes, you can keep a list of the "things" you want to own, but putting a new painting on your wall is not as impactful as taking a trip to Europe with your family.
For years, I wanted to get two degrees and learn to fly. I am now taking course work for one degree, with the second to follow. I have investigated flight courses and plan to engage in flying lessons this summer, when the weather turns warm.
So what about you?
Where have you said "If only I had . . . ?"
Think about it a moment.
- What do you wish you had done or become?
- What are you going to do about it?
At this point, remorse won't get you where you want to go. Forward Action will. Forget your excuses and make a decision to live your life without regret.
A research study conducted on individuals over 70 years of age asked participants these questions.
- If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently?
- What do you regret?
The responses showed these results.
1. They would take more time for themselves.
- How many times have we met people who dedicated their whole life to others, at the expense of their own needs and goals?
2. They would take more risks.
- This is the "if only" part of regret. If only I had bought the property, taken that job, said No to . . . and on the story goes.
3. They would dedicate themselves to a cause or purpose that would last beyond their lifetime.
- What's your legacy? What will you be remembered for? Will you even be remembered?
A life lived without regret is living on purpose and making a difference, whatever the context.
How do you rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10?
1 = Poor (lots of regret)
10 = Excellent (little or no regret)
Let's all strive to be as close to 10 as we can in all areas of our lives!
Start now.
No regrets, please.
CRG's calling is to assist others to live, lead, and work on purpose—including helping people discover their passion and learn how to live it, intentionally, every day. An On-Purpose person has few regrets.
Consider the following processes and assessments.
- To confirm your beliefs and purpose in all areas of your life, I recommend my 88-page workbook, My Source EXPERIENCE Journal™. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.
- CRG's Personal Style Indicator, Stress Indicator and Health Planner, Values Preference Indicator, and Self-Worth Inventory will help you fully embrace your passions.
To enhance your results, follow these ACTION STEPS .
This Week's Action Steps
Regret is Not Your Friend!
- Regret has two parts. The first is regret for things you have said and done. Take a moment to list events in the past that have caused you to experience the most regret. Is there a common theme or set of situations where regret is occurring for you? What do you think the root cause(s) might be? What can you do to reduce your regret?
- The second side of regret is for things you have not done—the sin of omission. Think about all the things you regret not doing. What are your reasons for not taking action—lack of courage, not feeling worthy, compromising your values for others?
- Think about what you can do to reduce your regrets. List what you can start doing immediately. Don't make excuses for what you cannot do. Focus on what you can and will do. Make a commitment to follow your action list.
- Forget the pity party that includes guilt. Move on with confidence.
- Confirm your passions and connect with your purpose to reduce your regrets. Work with CRG's 88 page My Source EXPERIENCE Journal™–A Personal Discovery Process for Those Who Want to Lead a Passionate and Fulfilling Life.
- Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passion by using CRG assessments. Your results will assist you to establish your beliefs with confidence, and increase your passion in all areas of your life. As part of the clarification process, we recommend four specific assessments.
- Personal Style Indicator (PSI), to identify your natural preferences and strengths
- Stress Indicator and Health Planner (SIHP), to identify your stress and wellness levels
- Values Preference Indicator (VPI), to clarify your core values
- Self-Worth Inventory (SWI), to understand how your level of self-worth is affecting your successTo those who are still procrastinating, remember your mortality is assured. I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, you are living On Purpose!
- To those who are still procrastinating, remember your mortality is assured. I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, you are living On Purpose!.
Ken Keis
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