This Week's Inspiration

Just Say No to Toxic People!

Strife:

Bitter sometimes violent conflict or dissension; an act of contention; exertion or contention for superiority

Toxic:

Containing or showing poisonous material or content; extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful, e.g., toxic sarcasm

What are toxic people costing you?

There's a saying that you become like the books you read, the TV you watch, and the company you keep. That's true for everybody—your family, your friends, co-workers, clients, and suppliers.

Do the people around you build you up and encourage you, or do they discourage and drain you?

The reality is that each of us needs to take responsibility for our personal space and relationships in life. The sin of omission applies because doing nothing can let toxicity into your life.

I have little time or patience for toxic people. Sure, we all come off the rails at times and mess up, but this is about continuous negative behaviors that many individuals demonstrate. Those folks are generally difficult to deal with and always produce some type of drama—even around a simple incident.

Toxic people come in many forms, so perk up your radar and review this list on how to identify toxic waste.

1. Character Disorder
   
   In the book The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, the author correctly identified this condition as the most difficult psychological condition to treat—where every failure or problem is everyone else's fault. They blame other people and situations, but never take personal responsibility for their condition or their contribution to their state of affairs. Of course, if it is ALWAYS someone else's fault, why would they ever change? Most never do.



2. Whiners and Complainers
   
   Everything is a dramatic event for them. There's always something making them unhappy. Their complaining behavior drains the people around them. It's almost as if they relish their misery and want to start a club. Whining gets them the attention they seek.



3. Critics
   
   These malicious spirits pull themselves up by pushing others down. They love to gossip, criticize, judge, and denigrate anyone who has ever had the misfortune to spend time with them. The only loyalty these individuals have is to their own pain, which they feed by involving everyone they can in their mudslinging and criticism.



4. Cellar Dwellers or Pessimists
   
   Some pessimists and entrapped individuals require other human beings to play out their endless discord. Easily recognizable, these exhausting folks serve up negative mental pictures of past and future doom for the sake of the reactions they produce. You have to ignore those bottom feeders; they must take their obnoxious speculations elsewhere!
   
   Toxic individuals are all around us. Here are some more examples of the toxic personality.
   
   
   • The Pathological Liar
   • The Putdown Artist
   • The Hatemonger
   • The Instigator
   • The Gossip or Blabbermouth
   • The Backstabber
   • The Bully
   • The Drama Queen or King
   • Others who are not listed

Avoid toxic individuals at all costs. If that isn't possible, minimize your contact with them.

• When you must interact with toxic people, keep the conversation strictly business.
• Be polite and cordial and not overly friendly.
• Never, ever express an opinion, reveal a weakness, or discuss others with toxic people.
• Do not tell toxic people your personal business. When they ask you personal questions, politely decline to answer.
• Do not allow toxic people to tell you their personal business.
• When toxic people attempt to spread gossip, change the subject. If they persist, tell them firmly you are not interested. If that doesn't work, simply walk away.
• Show no interest in their negativity and refuse to feed into their pathology.
• Never introduce others (if you can avoid it) to toxic people.

Just as harmful viruses need a human host to exist and thrive, negative states require the unconscious consent of human beings to carry out their menacing mission. What power does a negative thought have other than the power to convince a person to do its bidding? NONE!

Begin today—this very moment—to withdraw any permission you have unknowingly granted these toxins to enter your life. Do not judge yourself or those around you in whom these misdirected individuals. Instead, become awake and refuse to spend one more moment of your life lending your precious energy and time to their gloomy purposes.

Years ago, I misguidedly taught in our customer service training programs that the customer is always right. Well, I was wrong. The customer is not always right.

Have you had clients that are high maintenance and consistently toxic? How does that affect you and those around you?

One of my consultant friends recently shared this wisdom: You must fire toxic clients, just as you would toxic staff members, suppliers, and contractors.

• Don't put up with that conduct from anyone.



• Stop living in the fear of loss. The benefits of cleansing your environment far outweigh the costs.

What would others say about you: Are you a toxic person?

Avoid engaging in the behaviors toxic people exhibit. If you find yourself unconsciously engaging in such behaviors and are unable to stop doing so on your own, invest in some relevant self-help books, ask the assistance of a friend, or seek professional help.

Note:

If you are a toxic person, you will NEVER realize your full potential. Resources and people are not attracted to negative energy or behavior. Toxic conduct has significant consequences.

Creating a toxic-free zone will change your life.

As you begin to refuse to join with what is negative and draining, you'll find you begin to attract what is positive, successful, and cheerful. Your relationships will deepen, your professional life will take on new enthusiasm and freshness, and your days will begin to resemble a life filled with more purpose and passion.

To help you on your journey of self-discovery, I am recommending several CRG resources. My new 88-page workbook My Source EXPERIENCE Journal™ will take you on a personal discovery of enlightenment and affirmation and help you focus on the positives in your life.

As building blocks to a toxic-free zone, I also suggest the Values Preference Indicator, Self-Worth Inventory, Stress Indicator and Health Planner, and the Personal Style Indicator.

This Week's Action Steps

Just Say No to Toxic People!

1. At this very moment, think of all your current relationships.
2. Are any of those people ongoing toxic personalities in your life?
3. Toxic individuals are blamers, whiners and complainers, critics, pessimists, gossips, and the other types listed in the previous section.
4. When you are around those toxic people, do you feel drained?
5. What has a toxic environment cost you in terms of fulfillment, purpose, and passion?
6. Make a decision now to limit or avoid interaction with your current toxic contacts.
7. When you are around toxic individuals, be disciplined. Do not participate in their Spread-the-Toxins program. Ignore them, don't respond, and certainly don't participate.
8. Now the difficult question. Are you a toxic person? What do others say about your behavior? If you are toxic, are you willing to change your behavior? If you can't do it alone, get help from others.
9. Confident individuals who are not toxic know who they are and where they are going. To help you and others reduce toxic behaviors, I encourage you to engage our workbook My Source EXPERIENCE Journal™—A Personal Discovery Process for Those Who Want to Lead a Passionate and Fulfilling Life.
10. Life always will have challenges, but we don't need to make it more difficult by allowing toxic individuals into our circle.
11. Living your life on purpose requires you to create a toxin-free zone—including you! Enjoy the peace and fulfillment this condition will bring.

Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!

Ken Keis


For information on CRG Resources, please visit http://crgleader.com.

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