Have you ever attended a function where the only thing some people want to talk about is themselves? When that occurs, you usually look for an exit strategy as quickly as possible.
Why is self-centered behavior so unattractive—even offensive?
That character trait is repelling because it means the rest of us are not needed. After all, if a person is talking only about himself, our presence is not required.
Other words that mean the same thing are narcissistic, egocentric, drama-queen/king, and self-absorbed.
Admittedly, we all have been selfish. We naturally tend to get wrapped up in our own little worlds but, if we choose to do so, we can free ourselves from that tendency, to a large degree. The key is to learn from our past behavior and use that understanding to make our impact more positive in the future.
I recently had the privilege of taking a friend to lunch. I had promised him months ago, but apparently I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to get away. Sound familiar? My friend—a very successful businessman, now retired—has given freely of his time and wisdom to many, including myself.
In the past, I had called him when I needed something from him. Perhaps because of my increased maturity, this time I focused on him. The sole purpose of this lunch was to thank him for all the wisdom he had shared with me.
The lunch turned out to be very special; I got far more than I gave. I cannot put into words the joy I felt from encouraging this mentor of mine. And my friend was thankful for the visit. Isn't that just like individuals who are unselfish!? They have a grateful heart!
It is far better to give than to receive is certainly true.
It's time we got over ourselves—stopped our complaining, whining, and drama displays about our particular situation—and started focusing on others.
Even though we are the ones who are giving, we will benefit the most.
Last year a research project linked increased wellness to people who gave to others. You actually live longer and stay healthier because the biochemistry in your body responds to your generosity by reinforcing your immune system.
The opposite is also true. Self-centered drama slowly poisons the perpetrator. These individuals erode their overall physical and mental well-being and also damage others through their actions. Be guarded about allowing insensitive, inconsiderate people into your space. Remember, they are slowly poisoning you, too.
As a parent of a tween and a teen, I know kids can fall into the peer-driven pit of self-centeredness—I want an ipod; I want an iphone; I want to hang out with my friends; I want . . . I want . . . I want . . .
Here's an example of how my kids rose above the gimme habit.
This month our neighbor asked them to care for his home while he traveled to visit his family overseas.
Even though we had agreed to take care of the basics for him, it quickly became apparent that the home needed more than simple maintenance. Together, as a family, we did a mini-makeover on his place, even arranging for a truck to remove a load of debris from his lot. The most rewarding part came at dinner this week when my 13-year-old son stated it was much more fun to give than to receive.
He got it!
Now it's your turn. Want others to care more about you? Start giving—unconditionally.
Sometimes we generate drama when we are frustrated and don't understand why we feel that way. To help you determine the best way to give and still reduce your drama, consider the following resources.
- To identify your natural preferences and strengths, complete the Personal Style Indicator (PSI). If you are heading into self-employment or business, complete the Entrepreneurial Style and Success Indicator instead of the PSI.
- To clarify your core values, complete the Values Preference Indicator.
- To understand how your level of self-worth is affecting your success, complete the Self-Worth Inventory.
- Finally, to determine how your lifestyle is influencing your stress and wellness levels, complete the Stress Indicator and Health Planner.
I wrote My Source EXPERIENCE Journal™ to give individuals a self-guided roadmap for realizing their life purpose and for living a positive life—not a negative one.
Using those resources will help you play to your strengths!
Don´t wait! Engage the invaluable CRG tools now!
Will You Get Over Yourself—Please?
- Are you a selfish whiner?
- What would others say about you on that subject? Do you create a lot of drama? If the answer is Yes, why do you? Does whining help you feel better . . . or are you addicted to feeling miserable?
- What about your closest friends. Are they self-centered? Typically, misery loves company. If you don't like that environment, get out of it. If your friends are selfish (even if it's because they have low self-worth), limit your exposure to them. They are poisoning you.
- Make a choice to give to someone this week. Note how it makes you feel to give to someone else unconditionally. Who in your life could benefit from your time, expertise, or resources?
- Consider inviting someone else to give along with you. Think of someone who needs to get over him (or her) self.
- People who are living on purpose rarely whine. Use My Source EXPERIENCE JournalTM to help you start living your life on purpose. When a person is living on purpose, drama is reduced. That is part of the self-improvement process.
- As part of the clarification process and to help you connect to your passions, we recommend four specific assessments.
- What kind of world would we have if people got over themselves? It would be amazing! I challenge each of you to do your personal best to reduce the drama around you—I know you can do it!
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Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!
Ken Keis
For information on CRG Resources, please visit http://crgleader.com.
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