How openly do you accept gifts and help from others?
We are an independent society and tend to fend for ourselves—hesitating to accept—and sometimes even rejecting—help from others.
Growing up on a dairy farm, I enjoyed a strong sense of community. I saw many farmers helping other farmers—that was a character trait you could count on. I recall that when our neighbors’ barn collapsed under winter snow and ice, within an hour over 100 local farmers were on site to help in any way they could. The neighbors were thankful for the gift of everyone’s help.
New events in my life have pointed out the importance of allowing others to assist us. Not only does accepting help from others bless us, I have learned that through the act of acceptance, we really encourage the giver.
A few weeks ago, CRG had a B & E. Several computers and other items were stolen. Not known for their respect of others’ premises, thieves had ransacked the office; glass from the front door was everywhere.
As we responded to the alarm, my wife had the wisdom to call one of our friends to give me a hand to clean up the mess.
Over the 2 hours it took us to restore some order to the office, I told my friend several times how sorry I was for interrupting his evening. I later realized that my apology tended to reduce his gift of giving. I then made sure he knew that I was, indeed, very thankful for his assistance. Being able to contribute and assist made him feel valued.
More recently, my parents offered to help me take down our Christmas light display of several thousand lights. My wife and two kids were in Mexico on a missions trip and I was home alone. At first, I did not want to bother my parents, who are over 70, but my mother was quite insistent. Before long, my mother-in-law, father-in-law, neighbor, and godfather also came to assist. Within 4 hours, we were done. In fact, I really needed them to help take down the big, heavy display on the roof!
I realized in the end that accepting their help was honoring their offer and their ability to contribute. They felt valued and on purpose through the process. Who was I to deny them the enjoyment of helping out?
Those examples teach us that as human beings, we are wired to give and help—while creating a sense of community and support. Rather than thinking that my act of accepting their help was self-centered of me, I have reframed it to the opposite: Refusing their help is self-centered of me. Saying No denies them the joy of giving.
I saw the satisfaction my relatives received from the simple act of taking down our Christmas lights. Saying Yes to their assistance really meant saying Yes to their heart and purpose.
This is a simple yet powerful message. I encourage you to consider the Action Steps below to allow the gifts of giving and receiving into your life—while you live your life on purpose.
The Reward of Accepting Help from Others!
- Do you openly and easily accept help from others?
- Is there a place in your life where you can be more open to assistance?
- If you have refused or rejected help from others, what has that cost you? Refusing help from others can be a self-centered act on your part.
- In your opinion, why is it a blessing to allow others to serve you?
- Where can you give more openly to others, to model this high-quality characteristic of being able to give and to receive?
- Sometimes individuals will reject help from others because they are not secure in themselves. They falsely believe accepting assistance is a sign of weakness. Is that true for you? Think about someone you know who acts that way. Encourage yourself and others to open up to accept outside help.
- To assist your personal journey of growth, I am recommending the following CRG resources.
- Know where you are going by completing My Source EXPERIENCE JournalTM. This 88-page book provides the roadmap and processes to confirm what is most important to you in all areas of your life.
- To identify your natural preferences and strengths, complete the Personal Style Indicator.
- To clarify your core values, complete the Values Preference Indicator.
- To understand how your level of self-worth is affecting your success, complete the Self-Worth Inventory.
- Finally, to determine how your lifestyle is influencing your stress and wellness levels, complete the Stress Indicator and Health Planner.
- When we learn and acknowledge that we honor the gift-giver by saying Yes, we can enrich everybody’s life.
Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!.
Ken Keis
For information on CRG Resources, please visit http://www.crgleader.com.
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