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Issue 79 [ISSN 1712-468]

By distinguishing types according to their own striving and values, we are trying to develop knowledge that increases compassion, respect for differences, but also understanding of what we like and dislike in ourselves and others and why...

Michael Maccohy


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Inspire Communications


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Focus on Professional Development
Why Aren't You More Like Me?

The Chapter on Values
Part One of Two
What Do You Really Value?
No one can clearly state why certain things motivate some people and not others, but we do know that each of us has underlining behavioral values that energize and fulfill us.
When I speak at conferences, some individuals call me a motivational speaker.
I disagree with the characterization.
In reality, no one can motivate anyone to do anything.
But let me push your thinking one step further and suggest this . . .

True Motivation is a Myth.

The pursuit of interests (core values) requires no motivation because we enjoy them. Interests compel us; we are pulled or attracted. That precludes any need for motivation.

We require motivation only for the things that don’t interest us.

In Why Aren’t You More Like Me?™ we ground you in the powerful knowledge of style and the way it applies in all areas of your life. We don’t have time in the book to take you on a journey to confirm your life purpose, interests, talents, gifts, or calling; that is the content and process in another of my books, My Source Journal EXPERIENCE™.

In this chapter, I will show
  • the power of living your life, based on your core behavioral values; 
  • why values are critical to living a life on purpose
  • that other people can and do have values different from yours;
  • and  that they, too, want to experience their unique and distinct values. 

What is a Value?

A value is something that has great desirability or worth to you—it is important enough that you spend time trying to obtain or keep it as part of your lifestyle. A value is simply a label for something that is imperative to you. For the purposes of this book and our Values Preference Indicator, values are internal and personal to you.

You will find you have embraced certain values from your environment and/or social factors; other values seem part of your genetic makeup. Regardless of the potential source or circumstances, the key is to understand that your values are uniquely yours.

Your values reflect a vital part of who you are. Knowing what is most important to you and why can be helpful for making meaningful decisions in all parts of your life. It is very difficult to make decisions about work, recreation, home, and interpersonal relationships without first knowing what is most important to you.

People who are confused and unclear about their values often have difficulty making the bigger decisions in life because they do not know themselves well enough to decide what would be best for them. That is especially true today with all the mixed messages that pull us in various directions.

For instance, if you value organization, you will work best in an organized environment. If you value pleasure, you will value situations and people who create pleasurable experiences for you. Individuals tend to value different things and types of situations because they have different needs within them.

In my professional opinion, everything in your life is a reflection of the values you are embracing and living. The research is clear; the majority of individuals are, at some level, unhappy with their lives. 

In the area of relationships, a recent study identified
that 93% of us feel we have settled for less
than we want, desire, or deserve.

The Importance of Values Cuts Two Ways

As critical as it is to be clear about our own values, it is equally important to understand the values and related needs of the major interpersonal relationships in your life.

People with different values tend to disagree more than individuals with similar values.

Conflict in relationships, both at home and at work, often can occur because two individuals have opposite views on a situation. Their perceptions and viewpoints are largely influenced by their values.

For example, a wife who values security may argue with her husband who values recreation because he wants to buy a speedboat, but she prefers to use their resources to open a savings account.

Values by definition are intensely personal. That is true for you and for everyone you meet. It is key to remember that what you feel is important (value) might not even make the radar of another person, and vice versa.

Although that observation seems blatantly obvious, many individuals still do not acknowledge the various values that each of us holds and the deep implications that values have in ALL our interactions with others.

We suggest that you encourage the people with whom you interact—both personally and professionally—to get clear about your values. Consider completing CRG’s Values Preference Indicator and use the process as a center point for discussions so you can understand each other better.

The power of the values clarification is equally as profound for learning what other people value as it is for learning what you value.

Each style dimension has related needs, fears, and values. What drives me to behave in certain ways may not drive you.

For example, I spent long hours sitting at a computer, writing this book. The decision to use this time to produce a book rather than do something else was inspired by my values, which include needs and fears. The variables will differ for others, inspiring them to use their time to complete tasks such as restoring an old car or learning a foreign language. I have little interest in doing either!

The interesting question, therefore, is this: How are individuals inspired to do one thing rather than another? Understanding the answer to this question is a key to understanding other people and ourselves.

Inspiration, then, is the impulse which sets creation in movement; it is also the energy which keeps it going.

Roger Sessions

Theories on internal motivation suggest we are stimulated to engage things that meet our predominant needs and to disengage from activities that do not meet our needs. When something consistently meets a particular need of ours, it becomes more attractive and valuable to us. We value most whatever best meets our needs.

Author Anthony Robbins for the past 20 years has outlined motivation as moving toward or moving away from events and stimuli with which we either connect or disconnect.

We can tell what is important to us by listening to the “voice” of our feelings. Feelings are related to needs and values. When you feel satisfied to engage in a particular activity, something about that activity is meeting a need of yours; when you feel dissatisfied, that activity does not fulfill your needs.

Activities that consistently make you feel positive (happy, joyful, confident, proud) are therefore more important and valuable to you than activities that leave you feeling negative (upset, sad, mad, disappointed, depressed).

Take a moment to review the following list of 21 values. From the list, identify what you feel are your top 7 values in the order of priority for you. There is space provided for you to list them.

A List of Typical Personal Values




To complete tasks, get results


To be appreciated and rewarded
for your efforts


To live an active and exciting life, achieving targets


To get along well with others, influencing family harmony and teamwork in the workplace


To be able to experiment with
and develop new ideas and things


To be an expert in a special subject
or skill area


To have valuable friendships


To be truthful and have others
be truthful, too


To have freedom of action, to be primarily responsible for making decisions about your life


To acquire new information and
share it with others


To share close companionship
and/or deep affection with someone


To plan and carry out logical and structured procedures.


To be happy, contented, and comfortable with life;
to have fun


To maintain a high standard of work with only
a few errors


To become well known, obtain awards, and attain
a special status


To be in charge, lead others, organize events,
and make decisions


To have protection and security
in personal and financial situations


To have inner peace, an understanding of life and death, and communion with God


To enjoy peace and quiet and a life with few personal conflicts


To have a life with many different experiences, but few rules and set routines


To achieve financial independence
and control in personal and business realms

1. __________________________________
2. __________________________________
3. __________________________________
4. __________________________________
5. __________________________________
6. __________________________________
7. __________________________________

What Do You Really Value?

Values should be anchor points for living our lives. After conducting values programs (in conjunction with style programs) for more than 30 years, with thousands of individuals, we are continually surprised by the high percentage of people who are unclear or uncertain about their values.

If you are willing to easily change or sell out on a value, we maintain that value was not important to you in the first place. Although values do change and are revised throughout your lifetime (such as when individuals have children), there is usually a solid foundation of core behavioral values that is non-negotiable.

When reviewing the list of values, many times people want to have 7 number one values. But you can’t have 7 number one values.

Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly choosing one value over another in our daily lives. In many cases, what we state is important to us is not always reflected in our life choices.

Have you heard people say their family is important, yet they never spend time with them? That is a simple example of stated values being incongruent with actions.

I recall a time when I was being challenged with my values. A friend called to invite me to a special meeting outlining an investment opportunity. He said this opportunity was by invitation only; the investment packages where limited so it was important to get to this first meeting. I agreed to attend that Thursday at 7 PM.

It was just after 6 PM on Thursday when my wife Brenda called me from her cell to ask if I was driving to the kids’ concert on my own or did I want her to pick me up from the office?

Wow! I had completely forgotten about the concert and Mike was about to arrive to take me to the meeting.

I shared my dilemma with Brenda and asked her to tell the kids that I had given my word to Mike so I would not be at their event. Brenda in her wisdom said, “No, you tell the kids you are not coming,” and handed the phone to my son Tim.

I proceeded to sell my 9-year-old on the merits of keeping my word to Mike and that I was planning to go to the meeting. I also promised to view the video of the concert with both kids as soon as I got home.

Tim, with his great insight, said, “Daddy, why don’t you just say No to Mike?”

I thought about it . . . and I attended the kids’ concert.

Every day your choices reveal not only your style preferences but your core values.

But why the delay on my part—in choosing the concert over the meeting? Some false beliefs were influencing my desire to attend the investment meeting; one was the fear of loss. I was incorrectly framing the meeting as my last chance to get into a ground-level development with a high rate of return.

I must have thought there would never ever be another investment opportunity like that one! In hindsight, that was not true. The real truth was that my children would never again have that concert.

So what about you? Are you aware of your core values and the related needs and fears that underlie each value?

And are you also aware of the core values of the people that make up your most important relationships? If not, use this chapter to start a dialogue about each other’s values.

One option is to go online at www.crgleader.com and complete the Values Preference Indicator to help confirm your values. 

CRG Assessment Systems Certification Workshop
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If you are a leader or an independent or internal professional developer wanting to make a difference in other people's lives, the CRG Assessment Systems Certification Workshop event is for you!

Download our CRG Assessment System Certification PDF !

Find out why CRG's Personal Style Indicator (PSI) and our other assessments are preferred by over 80% of professionals who—once they attend the CRG Assessment Systems Certification Workshop—no longer feel comfortable using alternatives like MBTI, DiSC, and True Colors.

Even more critical, you will learn about holistic and congruent solutions that CRG's assessment systems and resources provide for you and your clients.

Today, it is not necessary for professional developers to source multiple suppliers to meet their clients' needs, which include wellness, leadership, self-worth, values, sales, entrepreneurship, team development, and much more.

CRG assessments help you equip your clients with a solid baseline of self-knowledge. Working from clear insights into Personal Style, strengths, and weaknesses, you assist people to chart their path.

The CRG system focuses on the key areas of success in business and in life. We help you help others achieve their personal, professional, business, and vocational goals.

The quickest way to get up-to-speed on CRG's powerful assessment system is to attend our CRG Assessment Systems Certification. You'll have a detailed overview of how our assessments, models, and resources help change lives.

The feedback from our attendees?
It's the best workshop they have ever attended!

To have credibility using CRG's transforming resources with others, experience the power of our processes first-hand.

I soon realized there is more than one tool to use to accomplish your goals. The set of tools presented in the CRG Assessment Systems Certification Workshop is Awesome and easy to understand!

Bev Asmann
Blueberry First Nations

CRG resources help build and holistically Enrich People´s Lives—the lives of individuals in families, education institutions, small businesses, associations, and Fortune 500 companies.

I invite you to join me for our next exciting CRG Assessment
Systems Certification Workshop near Vancouver, BC,
on February 10, 11, 12, 2011.
Book Now! July's event was Sold Out!

Ken Keis
President and CEO of CRG

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Upcoming Events

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Private Event
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Pre-Conference Workshop: Why Aren't You More Like Me?
Association of Image Consultants International Conference

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What´s New?

Now available in print!

New Version of Personal Style Indicator
and PSI In-Depth Interpretations in Arabic

Why Aren't You More Like Me?
Coming This Fall!
(Price will be $30.00 + shipping and handling and applicable taxes)

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